Do you have a quote you live by?

Never be limited by other people’s limited imaginations.” -Dr. Mae Jemison

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10 Steps to writing a killer dating profile with spoken word poet Tamara Blue

Step 1-Be Honest. My friend Tika doesn’t tell the people she meets her real name or give out her phone number. At first, they exchange emails until they are better acquainted. Then once she gets to know you a bit better she exchange digits. I’ts okay to have stage names but it’s not okay to hide things like what you do for a living or whether or not you have children or even a wife. In her bio Tika mentions her kids but does not like the idea of having pictures of her kids floating around the web like that. Even, if you are single and on your own, imagine yourself five years from now. Ten years from now. If you want kids in the future include this in your bio. If you do not have children but do not want them in the future write about that. If you have children of your own but are not interested in raising any more kids, be honest and up front about it.

Step 2-Where are you from? This can be a great conversation starter. Include things like where you grew up, family origin, places you’ve visited, and places you would like to visit. Greece is one of the top ten places I have on my list to visit this year. My sister went to Italy and sent me pictures of a beautiful museum and wonderful monuments too. You can check with a local travel agent for the hottest vacation spots or find fun guided tours in your community.

Step 3-Add a flirty picture. Find the right profile picture. If you’re shy or not camera ready, choose a few pictures from your Facebook, snapchat or Instagram page. No pictures from your high school days. We have all seen the 10 year flashback pics on social media. The best profile picture is similar to the head shot pictures models take to go-see interviews: clear and visible. You should have an updated profile picture of you alone. Include between four to five pictures of you by yourself. None where you get lost in the crowd. These should be high quality photos only. Full body shots work best. Throw in a few group shots with your friends/family, pets, and colleagues. Only include pictures you would be okay with being tagged in by a friend.

Step 4-Include your favorite books or movies. In my online dating form I would include my favorite type of movie. I don’t really have a favorite movie but there is a genre I enjoy most. I enjoy watching thrillers and mystery films. I can always go for a watch-athon of murder/mystery movies on lifetime. If I’m just looking to booknchill on raining day, I curl up with a good old Eric Jerome Dickey novel. My favorite author is Eric Jerome Dickey. I think I’ve read every book written by Eric Jerome Dickey that my public library carries.

Steps 5 – Describe your likes/dislikes. This can include anything from pet peeve to OCD type A behavior. Keep it light. This is no time to you bare your soul and unload your baggage. You can include spiritual belief. Parenting style and even your hunting style. Be sure to share your favorite philosophy, goals, or habits.

Step 6-Your bio should be short and to the point. If you enjoy soccer or played football in high school, then include this in your bio. It’s okay to brag about your accomplishments. Any skills, hobbies, or talents you have is worth it to mention. No matter how big or small. Especially if you enjoy working with your hands. For example, do you enjoy cooking, writing, or making clay pots in your empty apartment? If yes, then include it in your bio. Do not include your weight in your bio but instead describe your physique as one of the following thick, curvy, sporty, more to love, or petite. You can use your imagination and be more creative of course. Describe what you do for a living but don’t go into too much detail. Avoid doing things like name dropping and do not include your company’s name.
This is not an interview, save it for your resume/CV. It can come off a bit pretentious and you do not want to attract the wrong attention.

My friend Tika’s bio says something like: thika than a snika….might look light but it’s heavy though…Harlem native with a southern flare. I love watching vampire in Brooklyn on a rainy summer’s day. Proud mommy of two girls — Atiya and Dominique. If you wanna join me for a sip and paint session then email me at tika@proudmommyrusdotcom.

Step 7-Include your age or approximate age. I have been rounding down when it comes to my age. I have been telling people I’m approximately 25 years old for the past four years. You don’t have to but I do. It’s my way of protecting myself. Identity theft is real people and in this day and age I have to be cautious about the amount of information I divulge to total strangers on the web. You can always come clean later if things become serious.

Step 8-Ask for a date. I recommend asking for a date on your profile for two reasons. One because You lose one hundred percent of the shots You do not take. You took the time to write a killer dating profile or ad and put yourself out there. The least you could do is setup a date. And, too often people will swipe past their potential match because they are too shallow to scratch and see what’s below the surface. We praise inner beauty in our society but promote superficial qualities. This is especially true online. It can be hard to make a human connection online at first but I believe if someone took the time to read my profile, then they certainly will take the time to write back. If you want to seal the deal, then ask for a date.

Step 9-How do you like to be contacted? Email? Phone? Do you prefer social media like Facebook and Instagram? I’m like Tika I’m shy at first and then when I get to know a brother I give him my number. RSVP is used commonly in party planning not booty calls but give out your email and with it, an invitation to meet with you for a rendezvous. This is not a chance encounter. You could meet your soulmate online. That’s how my friend Tika and her fiance met. She signed up for online dating using an app and her soulmate contacted her shortly after. They’ve been together for the past 2 years.

Step 10- Smile and hit send. You are putting your best foot forward.
Take a deep breath. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there, you warrior of love, you hopeless romantic. May cupid herself bless your union and sweet baby Jesus be your guide.